I Miss you Grandma

It was a year ago today that we had Grandmas visitation. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember going in with Grandpa and my dad and all the brothers and sisters and the grandkids and great grandkids.

I remember sitting in the funeral home waiting on my sister and my mom after the rest of the family had gone back to your house. I sat there all by myself and watched the video of you and cried my heart out. I remember the picture of you holding Jacob when he was three days old. You really loved the babies (kids). It was like you could see the life in them. You could see all the great things they would do in life. I'm really glad I got to sit there with you alone.

I knew then that the pain was gone for you. But what I didn't know was that I would still have a burning in my heart for you. I knew I would miss you but I miss you dearly.

I thought of you on my birthday and missed you something awful. You never forgot. You always called and told me happy birthday.

We had a big birthday party for Grandpa in the 'shop.' I know you were there. He had a good time with most of your kids, grandkids, great grandkids and great-great grandkids there. I made him a cake and decorated it with his dozer on it.

In the spring when we had cookouts at dads I remember the summer before that you and grandpa came out.

In May I thought of you on your birthday.

This year when I got the peaches off dads tree I wished you were around to call. He wanted them put in freezer bags, no sugar, no fruitfresh, no nothing. I wanted to call you and ask what you recommended.

On dads birthday I made pineapple cookies and thought of you.

When we had Thanksgiving and Christmas I thought of you when I made the macaroni and cheese. You always made the best macaroni and cheese.

I went Christmas shopping with Melinda early one morning and when I got up that morning I was crying. I wasn't sure why. I took my shower and got ready and headed out the back door to get Jacobs car seat. The temperature was just perfect and as I opened the door I felt I could instantly feel you again. Then when I came back in with the car seat there was a song on the radio that was played at your funeral. I know you were there that morning.

I made Taffy Tan Fudge. I think of you when I buy the 'name brand' sugar and the whole milk. I remember that those were the sticklers that you told me about. I never have figured out how to get it to set up your way. But I have figured out how to modify it and it sets up perfect every time.

I learned a lot from you and I really miss you.

Tomorrow will be the day they laid you to rest. I remember the preacher talking about how you cooked for everyone. She did a really good job of talking about you and how you felt about all of us.

You live on in me. I love you.
TAM